Download PDF Another Mother CoParenting with the Foster Care System Sarah Gerstenzang 9780826515490 Books

Download As PDF : Another Mother CoParenting with the Foster Care System Sarah Gerstenzang 9780826515490 Books

One night after midnight social workers brought a baby girl to the author's home, and her life as a foster mother began. A social worker herself, Gerstenzang discovered that raising Cecilia, deespite all the personal joys, would be a complex and frustrating process of "co-parenting" with the foster care system in New York City. Foster parents are in great demand, but they are not necessarily treated well. We follow the author through the home visits, the Early Intervention evaluation, the WIC program that (with much bureaucratic hassle) provides free formula and cereal, and the mandatory parenting training sessions. She comments, "When Michael and I became foster parents, we learned how stigmatizing, demoralizing, and just plain inconvenient and time-consuming being part of the 'unentitled' population can be. With the exception of Early Intervention, we often felt that the programs were more concerned with regulating our behavior than with providing services."

Regular meetings with the birth family were also part of the process. Not only were they awkward for all concerned, but each visit involved a commute of several hours. One social worker admitted that she preferred a foster parent who didn't work because that person could more easily comply with the time-consuming regulations. Sarah and her husband Michael also agonize over complying with special regulations about hiring babysitters or traveling ("anytime we left New York State we needed to ask the agency's permission, which in turn had to get the signed consent from the birth mother").

Central to Another Mother is the issue of transracial placement. Sarah remembers, "That first day the contrast between my pale skin and Cecilia's brown skin seemed glaring. Not only did I feel that I had someone else's child, I felt that I had a child from another culture. Would I owe someone an explanation?" (Gerstenzang is recalling the 1972 opposition of the National Association of Black Social Workers.) Her account is full of anecdotes and reflections about race acceptance and prejudice from others; the feelings of her two children about having a sibling of a different race; and culture keeping, beginning with skin and hair care.

Download PDF Another Mother CoParenting with the Foster Care System Sarah Gerstenzang 9780826515490 Books

"This book is insightful and honest and I enjoyed it. I passed it on to my sister (an adoptive mom)and she loved it to. If you are considering fostering a child, this is a must-read.

However, it bothered me how she seemed more concerned about her birth children that about her adoptive child. And how she made disparaging remarks about the name the birthmother had given the child. In some parts I wondered how her adoptive daughter would feel reading this when she was grown."

Product details Paperback 224 pages Publisher Vanderbilt University Press (March 19, 2007) Language English ISBN-10 0826515495

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Another Mother CoParenting with the Foster Care System Sarah Gerstenzang 9780826515490 Books Reviews :

Another Mother CoParenting with the Foster Care System Sarah Gerstenzang 9780826515490 Books Reviews

• We are in the process of becoming foster parents and this book was very insightful. Issues like dealing with the agency, adoption, funding, WIC, race, child development and emotional needs, and more are discussed in great detail. As a white family planning to foster black children this book was especially helpful.
• Having been through a very similar experience to that of the author, I was intrigued to read her perspective. I agree that the foster care system can be a frustrating, dis-empowering place for foster parents, whose hard work and sacrifice often go unrewarded. I enjoyed her explorations of all aspects of adopting and raising a child of a different race than one's own. I found her support of the birthmother to be particularly moving. Not many of us can bring such an open heart and mind to interactions with birth parents, truly one of the great challenges of fostering. Gerstanzang remained deeply committed to her foster daughter's best good, whatever that might be, while at the same time attaching to her deeply and giving from the very deepest places in her heart. The author's family as portrayed in this true story comes across as incredibly devoted yet unselfish at the same time. She does not shy away from difficult topics the politics of race, enduring the indignities of the foster care system in a large urban area, stress on other children in the family, and her own ambivalence about what might be best for her foster daughter and the rest of the family. In all it is a fair and balanced look at the emotionally bumpy road of fostering a child and deeply loving that child. The joyous conclusion is very affirming. I wish I had read it when we were going through our own fostering process, as it would have been very supportive and instructive.
• This was a great book that I am so glad I read as we're preparing to foster. Most books seem to be written about a child and their struggles and behaviors. While this is written about a child and realationship it talks about working w/ the foster system and the nearly 3 year journery to adoption for this family.
  
  An excellent book!
• This book is insightful and honest and I enjoyed it. I passed it on to my sister (an adoptive mom)and she loved it to. If you are considering fostering a child, this is a must-read.
  
  However, it bothered me how she seemed more concerned about her birth children that about her adoptive child. And how she made disparaging remarks about the name the birthmother had given the child. In some parts I wondered how her adoptive daughter would feel reading this when she was grown.